In my last post, I shared Over Confidence Pie with you. That was scary… and humbling. But you know, the creative process is, at times, scary and humbling. There is so much to work through and process.. not just the art itself but the feelings and emotions that go with it. So, today we’ll put Over Confidence Pie behind us and move onto the next course…Value Pie!
Value Pie ~ Our MATS class interactive classroom was on Facebook. This is where we would post art work and share our studios and lives with each other. A truly safe and wonderful space!
Well, with 500 folks from all over the world, that’s a ton of constant traffic and FB feeds. So your posts may get pushed far down the line with not many people seeing it (the nature of the FB beast). So, what would happen is, you post your art and wait for the likes and comments to flood in (remember what I said in Over Confidence Pie, I was expecting this to happen… silly rabbit!). And you get some feedback! You get likes and happy comments (maybe not as many as I hoped for.. again, silly rabbit). And then it happens… you get pushed down the line and the feedback stops. And enter stage left… the critical voices inside your head.
And then there were the class art reviews where Lilla would choose about 25-30 (mind you, out of 500, don’t know how she did it!) pieces of art a week to talk about. Of course EVERY student in class wanted to be chosen. I wanted to be chosen (I used to always be chosen). Each week I sat on the edge of my seat watching the video review just knowing my piece would pop up be next. It never was. Not one. Not ever. Not one of my pieces was chosen for review. It was a big blow to the ego and confidence. And once again I was feeling broken. And guess who enters stage left… again, the critical voices. Nasty, nasty little monsters they are.
And silly, human me, tuned in and let those monster voices mess with my head. I let those critical voices speak up and tell me things like, “people don’t really like your work”, “your work is too different and weird”, “you’re too modern”, “you’re not good enough for this biz”, “you don’t know Photoshop, you can’t compete with the ‘professionals'” etc.etc.etc. Lies. All lies. Yet I fell for it.
What happened to me in this class was I had too high and unrealistic expectations (which broke me and made me eat the humble pie). I put all my eggs in one basket and they got broken. I tell ya, expectations (most of the time) is just a set up for disappointment and emotional disaster. I also put too much value in the opinions of others. I cared more about what they thought about my work than what I thought or to get really deep, what God, the giver of my talent, thought (which made me eat some good ol’ value pie).
Lilla told us every week that the pieces that were NOT chosen were still valuable and good. She was impressed by all the art created, she just didn’t have the time review each one. That is totally understandable in a class of 500. Remember, teachers, students, clients, follower’s and fans are just one person with one opinion and outlook and they should be held very lightly. Valued, yes. But held very lightly.
Remember, YOUR opinion of your work is most important. MY opinion of my work is important. And for me, God’s opinion counts most and I know He delights in what we create. I just forgot those little facts once swimming in the deep water of this class!! I should have re-read my own post Go To Your Studio and Make Stuff from March! Funny how we forget the truth. Which is why we must tune into our hearts and live and create from there.
I like what I make! As different as it may be… I like it. And I will continue to make it. And THAT gives the work value. So, by valuing your heart and opinion first, you can create from your own voice and not from someone else’s voice or opinions.
Do you like what you create? …YES? Great! That is all that counts… End of story!
If you are in a place where you are unhappy with your work and don’t like what you are making, then step back. Ask why. Ask where is the work coming from. I bet you will find it’s coming from outside of you. So take a brave and daring dive into your heart and see what’s happening there and begin to create from that place. Cause it’s a good and safe place : )
Which leads me to our last pie to feast upon, Finding Your Voice Pie which we will continue in the next post…
Happy Day being happy with YOU : )